OLCPM
Communication
August 2005
本期內容Content:
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10) 夏季特別報導 (編輯部) |
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中華聖母堂2005 夏令營專欄 : 生活營內容摘要 (國玲) |
(上半部文章請見六月通訊) |
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12)
教會及社會消息 |
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朝聖的意義
鄒保祿
近年來，教會內興起一股朝聖風氣，每年各地方教會
都陸續舉辦不同的朝聖活動，有的往國內、有的往國外朝聖，例如法國露德、葡國法蒂瑪等地。
教宗保祿六世（1963-78）可說是現代教會朝聖的推動者，他曾多次強調：朝聖在教友生活中佔有很重要的地位。他更於1965指出：朝聖 是一種「精神方面的治療」，又在當年宣稱：「朝聖是重振敬禮、祈禱、反省和神修的中心。」教宗也指明：在每個朝聖地當舉行聖事和牧靈活動，因為這是敬禮方
式的延伸，能夠引導教友們走向基督。
1983年公佈的新
《天主教法典》有關朝聖地的規則，可說就是根據教宗保祿六世提供資料而寫成的。例如1234條第一項記載：「應在朝聖地為信徒提供豐富的得救方法，即勤謹
宣報天主聖言，適當培養禮儀生活，特別推崇感恩祭和懺悔禮，以及民間正當的敬禮方式。」
教宗若望保祿二世也在1987年頒布的《救主之母》通諭中，談論信仰與敬禮聖母的關係時，表示該當重視朝聖地的價值。
1987年，聖母軍中
央委員會曾公佈一份聖母朝聖地的文件，強調彌撒聖祭，該當是朝聖的主要部分，朝聖的目的是引導人們走向人生的終極目標----耶穌基督，因為祂是人類的救
贖者，是一切聖德的根源。
梵蒂岡第二屆大公會議（1962/65年）宣稱：聖母瑪利亞是「信仰的伴侶」，是她鼓勵引導我們走向信德的道路。因此，教會內有百分之八十的朝聖
地，是敬禮聖母的地方﹔每年約有一千多萬人前往墨西哥瓜達露貝聖母朝聖地，六百多萬到法國的露德聖母朝聖地，五百多萬去波蘭的捷斯扥哥華聖母朝聖地，四百
多萬去巴西的阿培來西達聖母朝聖地朝聖。這些聖母朝聖地並不是暑期旅遊勝地，而是在神修方面的重要地點，正如「宗徒大事錄」所記載：「這些人同一些婦女及
耶穌的母親瑪利亞並她的兄弟，都同心合意地專務祈禱。」（宗1:14）（轉載自1999/11/7 教友生活週報）
國玲記要
報導：這次中華聖母堂於七月一、二、三日在Mount St. Mary's University舉辦夏令營，特邀聖言會神父
Padovani主講。主題是神父的作品
《治癒受傷的情緒》
Healing Wounded Emotions（請 參閱好書推介）。
參加的有八十多個教友家庭及親朋好友，人數破紀錄高達230位﹔年齡則從91歲高齡到2個月大的嬰孩，正是老中青幼，濟濟一堂﹔中美聯姻的家庭也最多。有兩個「大」家庭，是陳揚
官與王奶奶兩家，他們三代親友，人數都超過十餘位。遠道來的兄姐也不少，像芝加哥的張修女、波士頓的王稷秋及Andover的周純傑、顏慧怡。上課時，首
度使用英語，另備有耳機，由許翠蘭老師及范毅舜攝影家負責現場口譯。青少年們，由高超鵬神父以中文講習「中國天主教會的現況」、「家庭福傳」、「祈禱」﹔
也是中文研習課了。幼兒們，3至8歲則由Incarnation及Piat兩位修女帶領唱遊、說故事等活動﹔9至11歲則由St.
Martin of Tour, Gaithersburg請來的Mr.
Stoolmiller 以聖體年為主體帶領一系列的遊戲和課程，每位小朋友在兩天結束後也都完成了一個Prayer
Box﹔內容可說是精彩豐富。
這次，安排了五堂緊密的課程，還配合了分組討論，
真可說是，場場熱絡、個個投入。尤其是小組分享，總是各家爭鳴、欲罷不能﹔對處理個人情緒以及和諧婚姻，讓人有深切地省思。
夏令營除了安排緊密的課程外，清晨上聖母山望彌
撒，晨禱、聖詠以及下午的娛樂活動，游泳、排舞、球類、趣味競賽等﹔還有夕陽下BBQ烤肉大餐，歡樂的晚會及豐盛
的麵、粥宵夜。
2005夏令營，就在
歡愉的告別聲中結束。2007年再聚！
感謝：特別要感謝營長高紹舉、議長張卡洛、副議長盧瑞
平，以及許多幕後的義工們，是他們數月的策劃、分工、投入，才有如此圓滿的成果，請為他們鼓掌！並將一切榮耀，歸於上主，我們的天主！
<>有關「寬恕」：多數中國婦女容易落入自責、長期壓抑、自卑﹔天
主對我們的寬恕，是一個不容懷疑的信理，所以我們也必須先寬恕自己、不再自責，才能產生自信，獲得平安喜樂。
· 溝通的秘訣：有話必須「好」說！心平氣和下，清晰、明確地說
出來﹔另一方必須專注、熱心地聆聽，聽懂對方心中的感受。
· 吵架的藝術：發怒時，暫停溝通！激動時，仍得依次發言。刻意
避開「地雷」------具有爭議的話題﹔絕不口出惡言-----離婚等挑釁的字眼！
· 痛苦是一種恩典、衝突讓我們成長﹔這些遭遇讓我放
下自我，投靠上主！
· 夫妻相處的小秘訣： 婚 姻需要經營！兩人來自背景各異的原生家庭，但因為有愛，只要肯用心經營，以理性去超越原生家庭的陰影，就能造就美滿幸福的婚姻。
表達出來！「愛她/他，要讓她/他知道！」「氣他/她，也要讓他/她知道！」溝通與聆聽，是解決問題的根本之道。
長存感恩的心：平凡的日子、有缺點的另一半、重複
犯錯的孩子、好事壞事都會發生﹔每件事都值得感恩。
如何教導青少年子女？身受中華傳統教育的我們，在這遽變的時代、在美
國，應當如何教導兒女？如何掌握尺度？
幼兒時候，愛他疼他，卻要嚴謹地陶成人格、教導規
範﹔身教，尤其重要。進入青春期後，更要注意他的情緒，多鼓舞他、體諒他﹔常跟他聊天，作他的朋友。
如此，兒女成長後，仍將親密地與父母分享、分擔，
成為永遠的朋友，父母是他們永遠的支柱。
後記----如何教導青少年子女？
對教導青少年，聖鮑思高神父的名言是：「慈愛、慈
愛、慈愛，溫和與忍耐。」父母是成熟人，面對未成熟的子女，在偏差行為上，需要耐心糾正﹔卻永遠以愛心與寬恕對待他們。
The adolescent Boy 的作者William
A. Connell康南神父則洞悉：「青年內心有著驚人的猶疑不安，極其令人同情。」若有此認知，便不難諒解他們外表的冷漠，體會他們內在的惶恐。而陶成他們
「均衡的性格」，卻是父母必須日夜在心，首要努力的，那就是生活規範-----作息有定，分擔家務等，以及學習自制。(孫國 玲)
「家庭營」的迴響(一)
劉愛蘭
其一
七月初的家庭營，轉眼已過了兩週，可是至今回
想起來仍覺溫馨滿懷，且歡暢愉快、非常放鬆又十分充實。更難得的是：不論識或不識、無分老少青壯，人人開心、人人盡興！我不能想像還能比這更成功、更理想
的家庭營了。而這一切並不是憑空冒出來的，是經有心人數月策劃、聯絡﹔是教友們以團隊精神積極支持響應，分工分勞﹔加上Mount
St. Mary's Univ.優美的環境，在天主聖三的眷愛中成就的。
接下來，我們要問的，便是：這樣美好成功，深
蒙天主祝福的家庭營，可不可能每年舉辦？如果，我們把種種籌備工作能分得更細些，在發報名表的同時，散發工作細目單、 需要捐獻的清單，讓大家
填勾志願分擔的項目，也許年年舉辦，就比較容易些。如果能年年期待這樣美好的夏令營，我們可預見今年的兩大突破-- ---一是青年組YOUTH GROUP，一是YOUNG ADULTS，將會更快速發展﹔並能與成年組在活動中融合，將來就不至出現斷層。
其二
真是何其有幸，今年家庭營邀請到Padovani神父來與我們分享他廿卅年輔導教友與心理諮商的觀察研究心得，澄清了導致許多人（包括我們在內）生活在不必
要的痛苦當中的種種誤解。
人生在世會遭遇許多困難，但真正困擾我們的都不是
技術層面的問題，而是人與人之間相處的問題。要維持和諧的關係，需要雙方相互合理對待，只要有一方面不近情理，就做不到。
身為基督徒，面對一個不近情理的人卻又被「愛 人如己」的誡命拘著，難免會有被封殺的感覺。其實，天主那麼愛我們，怎麼會要我們被綑綁著待宰呢？當耶穌派遣門徒時，形容「如羊入狼群」，那心情有多沉重
啊！祂告誡我們要：「純潔如白鴿，機警如蛇。」又是多麼殷切！是我們自己愚昧不明，經常一知半解﹔結果，不是憤而不理教義規範，從此當一個浪子﹔就是不顧
遍體鱗傷，死守著教義，陷入愚昧堪憐的處境，反而叫教外人看了卻步，深怕自己領洗後，也得這樣！
感謝天主！藉著Padovani神父，讓我們終於明白：
- 愛人需從愛自己開始。愛自己和自私，完全是兩回事。愛自己，首先得面對、接受自己各種負面情緒，而不是不理睬或假裝不存在，甚或壓抑不容其浮現。正 視自己真實存在的負面情緒後，進行理性了解、化解，而非受情緒控制，直接反應出來。必要時，委請專家協助分析，可及時引領自己走出迷津。
- 不要怕生歧見，不要怕
起衝 突。這些都是自然現象，用開放的態度坦然面對，接受這些實情。歧見，表示有溝通的必要﹔衝突，可以成為有效的溝通。溝通，不是只說而已，如果雙方都是「我 說，你聽！」那不是溝通，是發洩、是吵架﹔這樣是溝不通的。溝通，是指雙方都能誠意的「述己」，幫助對方了解自己﹔用心「聆聽」，以確實明白對方。當兩心
達到這樣的共識，那才是真正的溝通！
- 寬 恕，不一定要和解﹔寬恕是意志上的決定，願意與否，純係個人選擇。個人只有決定寬恕別人之後，自己的傷口才能被治癒。和解，則靠雙方透過溝通，達成共識，
重新在互信的基礎上建立新的關係，可能是更親密的關係。如果對方不斷傷害自己，卻拒絕承認或根本不自覺，又溝通不了﹔與之和解，等於是允許對方繼續傷害自
己。此時，只有保持距離，甚至斷絕往來，以確保不再受傷害。但對已發生的過往，不要記恨﹔寬恕，才能 使自己心靈自由，並逐漸恢復健康。
- 至於夫妻之間的親密關係，必須同時建立在生理、心理及情緒上﹔缺乏後二者，生理上也將索然﹔唯有這三者交融，婚姻生活才得完整。夫妻應該確保每天有彼此共處的時間，同時成為孩子
的示範。 婚姻，其實就是找一個恰當的人，用一輩子的時光，來共築一個家，來分享彼此的生活。
Ben OuYang
Perhaps more than any other
factor, what I found most enjoyable about this year’s family camp is that I
sensed a future for Our Lady of China. I was able to watch the young adults,
the YMCAers, and the Newlyweds all interact with one another as well as with
the older generation and have fellowship. This is a blessing and shows that our
church has a focus on the future. When Paul Wang shared with me that when I
first entered our church, he was younger than my current age, I was surprised
and hit by the reality that the next generation has to step up. The future of
Our Lady of China is dependent upon the English congregation. For without us,
the older generation may truly lose out on our young spirits. And without the
older generation, the English ministry would lose their wisdom and
understanding. We need each other.
When I heard Father speak, to be honest, I started out being arrogant. I
said to myself, “Well, I already have a counseling degree, will I really learn
anything?” However, as Father spoke, I realized that there are many things that
I have to do to better forgive and reconcile with those whom I deemed have hurt
me. At the same time, as faith is a journey, so is our ability to forgive. As
long as we do not stop trying to forgive someone, I believe we are moving in
the direction that Christ is calling us to be. Perhaps our whole church can
dedicate this year as a year of reconciling with one another. For if we do not
get along, we are certainly not being the witness that Christ calls us to be.
As Father was leaving, he spoke to me privately and gave me a pep talk.
He informed me that throughout the United States, the lay people are doing the
work of the church and missions like Our Lady of China can no longer rely on
the clergy or religious to grow and develop. For various reasons, the US
Catholic church must rely on the lay people to carry the Church forward. In
other words, if our church can be unified in working and spreading the Gospel,
then we will move forward and grow, regardless of who is our Pastor. The
lay people are the very ones who have to take the leadership of the Church and
this is very evident in Our Lady of China.
Finally, I was shocked to
receive an award from the Church during the family camp. I was so surprised
that I was speechless in front of everyone. I want to thank those that were
kind enough to prepare the award for me. I have been awarded countless times by
working with the youth. Every time I see them come to church or do good towards
others, Christ and the Church shine. I was just a simple instrument of God’s
work. May others touch the youth in the future and may the youth contribute
towards our Church. Growth in the Church is a cycle, and Jia Shieu and I
are already praying for a new Youth Minister and one day, Ling Ling’s youth minister.
Who knows, that person may already be attending our church. We shall see. We
don’t know what the future holds, we only know Who holds the future.
堂區的青少年及青年組日益茁壯，許多的孩子們藉著
在此團體中的互動，尋求到心靈及心理上的扶持，可惜一直因為沒有常職的神師帶領，在資源提供上有很多不足。團體希望在不久的將來，能有一位兼職的英文神師
來帶領青少年/青年團體，希望藉此可幫助青少年/青年教友們，一個在日常生活及信仰生活上提供協助的管道，進而不
只體會到充實快樂的教友生活，而且能將愛延伸至身旁的人，幫助別人，在日常生活中活出信仰。請大家特別為此祈禱。-----
Youth Group
Gene Pennello
Family Camp 2005 at Mount
St. Mary’s University, Emmitsburg MD, was a wonderful experience. We were
blessed to have Father Martin Padovani give a series of five lectures based on
his wonderful book Healing Wounded Emotions. The lectures were in
English, but fortunately, several talented Parish members volunteered to
translate them into Chinese in real-time so that everyone could benefit.(His
book is also available in Chinese.)
Feelings and emotions are
often considered an unwanted part of human nature to be repressed, especially
anger. Father Martin dispelled that myth, noting that human feelings and
emotions are gracious gifts from God that are interwoven with our spiritual
nature. After all, Jesus, being human as well as the Son of God,
displayed many emotions, including anger. Therefore, true healing of
psychological problems (e.g., marital conflict, addiction) requires an appeal
to our spiritual dimension, and, conversely, true spiritual growth requires an
understanding of our feelings and emotions. Some psychologists are beginning to
recognize the importance of our emotions (e.g., see Daniel Goldman’s book Emotional
Intelligence),
Father Martin instructed
that we process our emotions in four steps: Feel, Deal, Reveal, and Heal. The
Reveal step should not involve blaming others, as that is never helpful. Our
myriad of Emotions can be classified as easy (e.g., love, joy, affirmation,
gratefulness, sympathy, empathy), difficult (e.g., anger, sexual, jealousy),
and ambivalent (e.g., love/hate). However, we have a right to our feelings,
even the difficult ones. Sin is not about our feelings so much as it is about
inappropriate actions based on our feelings.
Father Martin noted that
conflict is an inevitable, necessary means to growth. When expressing anger
correctly (e.g., not by the “silent treatment” or overreaction), two people
such as spouses can actually grow closely together spiritually. A powerful
message was that families die not because of violence, but because of silence
(lack of working through conflict), a manifestation of the myth of “peace at
any price”. Recently, the secular world has put forth the myth that marriage is
a failed institution. As Father Martin stated, marriage is the best institution
to meet human needs for intimacy, emotionality, and sexuality, and the societal
need for raising children properly. “Marriage doesn’t fail. People fail
Marriage.”
Father Martin also gave us
an important lecture on Forgiveness. Forgiving does not mean Forgetting and may
not mean Reconciliation (you may not be able to trust that person again).
However, forgiveness is vital step in healing an emotional wound.
Forgiveness is the process of making the intellectual choice to forgive
(whether it is a perpetrator or yourself), emotionally working through the
difficult feelings, and spiritually letting go and moving on.
The retreat was a wonderful
time of relaxation as well. The fun/social activities included a nighttime
snack (Friday night), recreational swimming and basketball (Saturday
afternoon), and a barbeque and party (Saturday night). The Saturday night party
included a wonderful Veggie Tales play about Noah’s Ark put on by our kids.
They worked very hard to put it together so quickly in one day! One activity
also included some of the kids trying to translate to English Chinese phrases
spoken with an accent by Father Gao, which yielded some hilarious answers. All
in all, we were blessed to be able to have this time to recharge ourselves
physically and spiritually.
你們該如天主所揀選的，所愛的聖者，穿上憐憫的心
腸、仁慈、謙卑、良善和含忍； 如某人對某人有什麼怨恨的事，要彼此擔待，互相寬
恕；就如主怎樣寬恕了你們，你們也要怎樣寬恕人。Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and
beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance
against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. (哥羅森書Colossians 3:12-13)